


Strong

by nefarious_irusu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Depressing, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One Shot, References to Depression, Short, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 08:10:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17700665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefarious_irusu/pseuds/nefarious_irusu
Summary: He didn't want to die, he just didn't want to live life feeling like this anymore.





	Strong

He didn't want to die, he just didn't want to live life feeling like this anymore.

He took in four deep breaths, enough to try and ground himself. But his heart was still twisting around itself inside his chest, and aside from that pain, the space under his ribs felt empty. His fingertips tingled as he picked at his arms, creating strawberry fields where there weren't any before. Four more deep breaths, and nothing had changed, except the added pressure to his picking.

Yuri shut his eyes, and tried to list his reasons: his grandpa, Yakov, Mila, Potya. He even listed Viktor and the pig, for good measure. His fans, even if they were annoying little girls. To beat Viktor's records. To make sure the pig never saw gold.

His reasons always seemed to betray him. His next set of thoughts were always comprised of excuses: they would be fine without him, someone would come along and crush his own records in ten years, the pig already wore gold on his finger.

He didn't want to die, but he was dangerously close to it if it would stop the constant pain.

The aching and twisting in his chest only strengthened as the minutes went on, and the strawberry fields on his arms grew wet with blood. Yuri's chest caved in as he heaved, a guttural sound escaping him as he clutched his arm. Shaking, he fumbled for his phone.

After three rings, the other line picked up.

“Please come over,” Yuri gasped. “I can't be alone right now.”

No other explanation was needed.

Yuri squeezed his eyes shut as he waited, listening to the calming voice whispering him reassurances. At some point, his cheeks grew as wet as his arm, and he cursed himself for crying.

It was less than ten minutes, but it felt like an eternity. The line went dead in his ear as Yuri heard a key in his lock, and the door opening and closing a moment after.

“I'm here, sweetie,” Mila whispered, wasting no time joining Yuri on his bed. “I'm here.”

She gathered Yuri into her arms, rocking him gently. Her warm lips pressed sweet kisses to the crown of his head, and whispered soft words that warmed his scalp.

“Oh, honey, your arm,” Mila murmured, unlatching Yuri's hand from it. “Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?”

Yuri shook his head.

“Did you take any drugs or alcohol?”

He shook his head again.

“Okay,” Mila sighed, squeezing Yuri gently. “Thank you for calling me. Thank you for waiting for me. I know it wasn't easy.”

“I can't live in this pain anymore,” Yuri whispered in a voice unlike his own.

“I know it hurts, Yura,” she murmured into his hair. “You're so strong.”

Yuri shook his head, fresh tears trailing his cheeks in hot streams. “I can't be strong anymore. I don't have any strength left.”

“You do, sweetie. I'm here to help you find it, okay?” She wiped away the tears, though more were falling in their wake. “When it feels like you can't take it anymore, that's when you realize how strong you truly are.”

Yuri shook his head, burying his face in her shoulder. He choked on a wet sob, mumbling incoherently as Mila rubbed his back.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” she continued. “I admire you, I admire your skating and your fearlessness.”

“I'm scared right now,” Yuri argued.

“Being fearless doesn't mean you don't get scared,” Mila explained. “It just means that you get through that fear and come out a stronger person.” She paused, brushing her fingers through his hair. “And I see you do that all the time.”

“I don't feel strong,” he croaked. He was getting tired, and his head ached from crying. Mila's arms were firm around him, securing him in place. Depression knew how to sap him of his energy quicker than anything else.

“But you are strong, whether you feel it or not,” Mila assured him. “You're so strong, honey. You'll get through this.”

“Don't leave,” Yuri whimpered, nuzzling into her shirt.

“I won't leave; I'll stay right here with you. We'll let this wave pass together, okay?”

“Okay,” Yuri mumbled, still unsure, as his eyes became heavier. 

Mila's lips warmed his forehead, and Yuri drifted off to her soft voice filling him with reassuring words. Maybe he was stronger than he thought.


End file.
